Lvl 20, Int+10 is an opinion column for my rants and ravings that will hopefully encourage thoughtful discussion. On today’s menu an expansion on ZBot aka Will’s well written article What’s the Point of a DJ?

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No, I am not asking if you keep my hammer in your pants. If you do, please tell me why it is there, and then return it promptly, taffer. I am simply wondering aloud where all the items in characters’ inventories are being stored, because I don’t see any bags slung around the shoulders of protagonists in many video games.

Almost any game that allows the player to pick up and stow items falls to this trope. I do not find this to be a flaw worth nitpicking unless the context makes it dreadfully stupid, but the lack of space to put every Hookshot and Master Sword is ripe for satire; both of which are the purpose of Armen’s Hammer. If anyone has a quarter, please enlist the services of Encyclopedia Brown: We have a case of missing stuff.

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The following commentary is an independent opinion from an author of the Nerdfit Network.  No compensation, monetary or otherwise, has been received prior or after the publication of this article.

Most people saw the price tag for Left 4 Dead 2 and exclaimed foul play.  For what was once to be downloadable content would now be an entire new disc for the wonderful price of $60.00.  However, instead of asking, “Is it worth the price?”*  I ask you all one simple thing, “How much has changed?”

Read on to understand why I love and hate Left 4 Dead 2 (and to see what the asterisk notates.)

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Do you ever find yourself playing Left 4 Dead and think, “Gee, I wish I had a hammer, and a guy named Armen to wield it, and it’s his hammer?” I do. Sadly, I have to work with a frying pan, but I could always pretend I’m playing Super Mario RPG instead of an expansion pack masquerading as a sequel.

Inevitably, while playing Left 4 Dead, you will find yourself lying on the ground as a bunch of Infected kick the crap out of you. Or maybe dangling from a ledge. It is clear: Although you can fire an assault rifle, jump, and help others, you cannot pull yourself up. Let’s knock some sense into this design mechanic.
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“Grandma A can’t figure out how the knob on her dildo works and has 9,000 points, meanwhile Grandma B is running game on her.”

You journeyed there, my son, didn’t you?  Your passionate mandate for justice and revenge displayed you through the fires of hell itself.  The reason you stand before me silently is because, at some point along your quest, you saw the path of existentially-challenged platforms, and said, “Fuck this, I’m using Item 2.”  And yea, you gave Heat Man lead poisoning.

Many video games contain these moments, the ones where you must undertake some laborious challenge to complete your immediate goal;  yet at the same time, the game has an “out” option, something you can do to complete your goal with less difficulty and less man cards.  I would like to list and discuss some examples, and I urge you to join me via the comments, otherwise I’d be lonely.
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Ok, kiddies, now I know I didn’t update the last two weeks cause I had exams to prepare for.  Then, to make up for the stress of midterms, I took time off and went to Sicily and Naples;  which means people missed out on their normal dose of Jesus.  Somehow Glenn took time from being the goddamn batman long enough to notice this injustice and was all like, “Where’s my fucking column?”  Well, not quite, but I been reading a lot of Warren Ellis before bed lately (transmet + gin = odd dreams).  So in order to appease the mighty NerdFit overlords I bring you the first of two (maybe three if I get lazy and don’t want to make a real article later on) articles about my trek.

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Also known as being one reason I have not written anything for Nerdfit in a while.  Thus, in an attempt to safeguard myself from Glenntacle rape, I will endeavor to discuss Demon’s Souls somehow. I find it curiously difficult to review, it being so awesome and me being so biased, so I shat this keydrivel out.

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Hey everybody. brentalfloss here. Yes, it’s officially spelled with no capital letters.

Ahem…

We’ve seen it happen time and time again: Hollywood gets its oily, coked-up clutches on the rights to a beloved video game from our childhood and proceeds to butcher it royally on the big screen. The following is a short but potent list of the four worst examples.
Brace yourself; it won’t be pretty.

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This is my weapon

You want a nerdfit? I’ll show you a nerdfit.

It’s 1:00 pm and you’re sitting in the instruments lab, just you, your sample, and this monster of a machine. You place your vial on the rack, and hit the start button. The auto-sampler mechanical arm moves in to grasp your sample, making you feel like you’re an important scientist. The syringe extracts a small volume of the sample from the vial, about 5-10 nL or so. Then the liquid begins to move through the column, and the uv-vis starts spitting out data. 1 minute, nothing before the dead time, good. Then noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. 10 Minutes in, still noise. Fuck. You switch to a gradient. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. Noise. 30 Minutes in, nothing. Your sample wasn’t concentrated enough. Fuck, back to the lab to prepare another sample. 3 Hours later you finally get useful data. For a science so exact on paper there can be a ton of variables in the lab.
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