Welcome to my rage corner. Here you’ll find me, usually fuming, in a corner being held back by a ton of velcro to ensure I don’t leave the corner and rip everybody’s faces off.   According to a lot of people it’s entertaining when I write it out, so let’s get this train fueled by hatorade running, shall we?

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THE FOLLOWING TO THIS CAR?

Source:  Sankakucomplex.com

Itashi is one of those fads that, much like Carmell Dansen, should have never existed.  It only makes sense that these two things go together, so now I can display reasons why I hate seeing wapanese people pretend they’re ever-so-cultured for jerking off to Japanese cartoon characters clearly depicted under the age of 18.  The only thing preventing this car from nearly taking over the Otaku subculture is the fact that there is no German alliance to finish off the Axis of Evil-And-Terrible-Popular-Fads.  Who did they pick, instead?  The Swedish.  Great job, Generic Otaku #841249001. You’ve officially shown that,  much akin to your fashion skills, you’ve picked a sub par country to side with two thirds of  one of this civilization’s most arguably powerful alliances.  Instead of getting the Kaiser form in Breath of Fire 3, you’ve successfully created Pygmy, because you only looked at the pretty colors and didn’t realize there’s reasons why you don’t mix certain things together in life– you know, like expensive Italian cars and god-awful Otaku fads.

I got another question for all of you whom attend conventions. When has it been acceptable to rip off 4chan and then claim you loathe everything related to it? Out of the six I can remember so far this year, I have seen not only attendees but staff at five of them claim to hate 4chan or SomethingAwful, but then continue to frolic around spouting anything ranging from Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up to demotivational posters to anything LOLcats related, to people telling everyone they have lost the game, and other references that were clearly and without question from 4chan or SA. This hypocritical, pseudo-love-hate-relationship with most of you and the internet is not only nauseating but enraging if for the only reason being that I can’t actually tell all of you now-officially-legal chantards “No tits, just GTFO” without you daring to cry and claim sexual harassment. I don’t even want to see your tits. In fact, I almost always encourage you to not show them without informing you of why. The reason for this is that most of you are beyond atrociously disgusting and usually turn me off in every single way possible. I just want you to get away from me before I want to do any (or all) of the following:

• Go back in time, find your parents and disable their reproductive organs to ensure you never spawn from them.
• Violate you with my hardbound copy of Miriam-Webster’s College Edition Dictionary.
• This goes for my grammar and punctuation books, as well.
• Find a way to convince Encyclopedia Dramatica to refuse donations to ensure people like you don’t even know why this kind of stuff was unfunny since it originated.
• Explain to you why you’re looked at as a clueless, fad-following sheep.
• Organize a meeting where you’re bound, gagged and by Mr. Clean, only for him to pull out and cover you in the power of Pine Sol.   SOAP.   WATER.  TOOTHBRUSH.  YOUR BODY ODOR OFFENDS ALL FIVE SENSES.
• Cut off your excess fat, turn it into soap and sell it on the black market.
• Take a video of you, bring it to your parents and explain to them why this is bad and why these sites are bad so they can beat the hell out of you for me. That way I can keep my energy for the drive home.

YOU ARE NOT NOR WERE YOU EVER ORIGINAL. THIS ALSO APPLIES FOR THE QUESTION OF “WAS I COOL?” GO READ A BOOK, TAKE UP A NEW HOBBY, OR EVEN TRY DONATING TO NERDFIT AND THEN THANKING ME FOR PREVENTING YOU FROM BUYING A PEDOBEAR PLUSH OR A SHOOP DA WHOOP MASK OR A LONGCAT SCARF OR A RAPTOR JESUS VIBRATOR. ALL OF THOSE EXCEPT FOR THE VIBRATOR ARE ACTUAL PRODUCTS MADE BY PEOPLE WITH INTENT TO SUCK AWAY MONEY FROM YOU BECAUSE THEY THINK YOU’LL BUY THEIR PRODUCTS, WHICH THEY CONSIDER RETARDED TO BEGIN WITH.

Break the chain, stop being retarded, donate to Nerdfit (hell, the cheap plug is always worth a shot,) get awesome.  Also, the Internet:   Love it, hate it, and/or shut the fuck up.

That concludes part one of GLENN’S RAGE CORNER. Part two will come up eventually.  Just like bad relationships, there will ALWAYS be something that you need to rage about.

Quick note:  DesuToys is run by some pretty cool people.  That’s awesome.